Adult Happy Meals At McDonalds

Adult happy meals at McDonalds -One day you ordered a Happy Meal for the last time and you didn’t even know it. Awe, how melancholy. Like thinking about that puppy you had when you were 9, what was his name? Oh yeah, Sadness.

Well, starting this coming Monday you can cry over your burger and fries. Hell, what’s so happy about that? Well, if you just don’t care about your body and what you put in it, McDonalds is featuring Happy Meals for adult all month. Wow, maybe there IS a government conspiracy to just get rid of us.

So, in the latest example of not letting your memes be dreams, McDonald’s announced that adults can get back in touch with their inner child by opening up a Happy Meal and discovering a toy of their own. Yes, Happy Meal toys for adults are gonna be a thing, at least for a limited time.

A McDonald’s promo page reveals that the new Happy Meal is a crossover with Cactus Plant Flea Market, a fashion street-wear company. Instead of getting whatever toy McDonald’s is doling out for the kiddos, adults who order a Cactus Plant Flea Market Meal Box (Big Mac or 10-piece Happy Meal) will receive either stylized figures of McDonald’s mascots Grimace, the Hamburglar, or Birdie, or one of a CPFM original character, Cactus Buddy (WHO?). The promotion will run October 3 through October 30.

This news originated from a cryptic Facebook post from McDonald’s in which the fast-food company said, “one day you ordered a Happy Meal for the last time and you didn’t even know it.” I’m not sure if their social media person intended for folks to take this as some kind of threat, but the fact that it just left its message at that was ominous. It turns out McDonald’s wasn’t getting existential about the fragility of the human body, but the longevity of one’s inner child. Also foreboding, but suitable for marketing purposes I suppose.

McDonald’s new Happy Meal collab is here just in time to usher in the apocalypse I suppose. Just what we climate-anxious adults need right now: plastic toys to play with while the earth burns. It’s also embarrassing that capitalist monster McDonald’s thinks it can pull off a merch drop like an indie fashion label. Grimace indeed. 4.3/5 distressing, but 1 delicious point for normalizing adults ordering nuggets. HA!

Looked at generously, the promotion might actually do some good by giving youngsters a bit of a break from the soul-crushing disappointment of grown-ass adults buying all the stock of kids-promoted toys. Case in point, in the McDonald’s Pokémon Happy Meal promotion last month customers were supposed to receive a Pokémon spinner toy, a cardboard Pikachu coin, and a pack of four holographic trading cards. Instead, many received leftover Space Jam 2 toys after a bunch of scalpers bulk-bought McDonald’s supply of pocket monster cards.

That wasn’t the first time scalpers have reared their collective heads during a Happy Meal promotion for kids. Safe to say, adults will only be competing with themselves over CPFM’s Happy Meal toys because I doubt any zoomers even know who the OG McDonald’s mascots are outside of Sir Ronald McDonald. This is probably for the best, considering a Google search of the Hamburglar has a high probability of scaring them for life if they ever discover McDonald’s disturbing 2015 rebrand. Yes, IRL Hamburglar is real, and he will hurt you if given the chance.

Anyway. Take your fat-ass down to Mickey D’s Monday and relive your sad childhood. Maybe if we get rid of a few of you we can make Bill Burr happy, and ease traffic on the 347.

Have it your way, at…wait that’s the other guy. What’s the McDonald’s theme? Oh yeah, I’m lovin’ it da da, da daa daaa….